Boundaries are everywhere lately.

From yoga class dharma talks to dating articles. “Just set a boundary,” seems to be the pat answer everyone gives to challenges from overbearing mother-in-laws to trauma recovery. And let’s be honest: that’s a wide range.

The new hip accessory for self-aware people seems to be “Boundary setting.”

But I’ve also noticed folks bemoaning “I am so bad at setting boundaries.” or “He totally did not respect my boundary.” (We’ll always find a way to criticize ourselves, won’t we?)

I think many people don’t actually understand what boundaries are, based on these conversations. And I hear some common misunderstandings over and over.